Dear Myrtle,
It is true that I shower you with all these gifts and that you are truly a wonderful mistress. I'm afraid that that's all you'll ever be to me. It's good that you won't ever mention Daisy's name ever again too, or it won't just be your nose feeling pain. I do care for you of course, if I didn't I would have left you already. You should cherish me more than you already do because I will be the best man to ever come into your life. So don't worry dear, you may not be perfect but I'll still spoil you with all these gifts regardless.
Yours truly,
Tom B.
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